Writer's Wednesday - Macrina Wiederkehr

Slowly, gently

I lift the clutter out of my life.

I must let go of my ego-self.

I've known this part of myself intimately.

It's like an old friend.

It's a bit hard to send it on its way.

It has become a kind of cherished sin for me

a dis-ease that I am familiar with.

Still, it has hindered my growth

and kept me from adoring. 

It has prevented me from noticing

the holy ground of my life.

And so, I kiss it good-bye.

Yes, I kiss it.

I embrace it.

It is part of myself

I cannot simply cast it aside.

I pray for its conversion.

All the clutter in my life

that I have clung to

with such devotion

will be born again

in some new and better form.

It is the shadow side of myself.

If I befriend it

it will arise 

from the ashes of falseness

into the glory of truth.

My uncontrollable anger

becomes a passionate, prophetic zeal.

My possessive clutching

becomes generous giving.

My abundance of unnecessary words

melt into the one great word.

My deafening noise

becomes the sound of silence.

My need for approval from others

becomes a need to affirm others.

My need to control

becomes my need to share.

My fear is changed into love

my anxiety into trust.

Yes, all the clutter of my life

that ego stuff that held me back

when embraced and owned

can change before my very eyes into grace.

What was a hindrance becomes a blessing.

What was an enemy becomes a friend.

What was darkness is now my light.

What was my clutter is now my treasure.

There is no freedom

like seeing myself as I am

and not losing heart.

There is no freedom

like looking at myself as I am

and saying, "Yes, that's me!"

There is no freedom 

like taking myself in my arms.

Only in that embrace

will I understand my wounds.

Only in that embrace 

will I understand healing.

Only in that embrace 

will I come to know my true self.

---Macrin Wiederkehr, Seasons of Your Heart